3 Important Things to Cover During Premarital Counseling

Before you say “I do,” there are a lot of things to think about. Making the decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is a question not to be taken lightly. There are a number of couples who choose to seek pre-marriage counseling in order to prepare for the road that lies ahead.

After the wedding, you and your spouse will officially be family. Seeking the advice of a family counselor may be something you’re interested, especially if you have different career paths or future goals and plans.

One of the most important family counseling techniques to try is acceptance. Here are some of the best ways to make your marriage work.

1. Make sure that you know the person you are going to marry. Finding not so hidden traits down the road may surprise you or make you uneasy. Premarital questions are important to ask your significant other. Do they want children? How many? How long do they want to wait before having kids? Do you both want to stay in the same city or town forever? Be sure that none of these things come as a surprise to you. Whether or not you agree is one thing, knowing of each others’ wants and needs is far more important.
2. Accept who they are. While you may have some pet peeves about your significant other, know that you cannot change or “fix” them. They are who they are, and if you’re already planning on getting married, you shouldn’t be thinking of how to change them. Know of their flaws and weaknesses, but embrace them. Find out ways that you balance each other out.
3. Talk about your future intimacy. Realize that your sex life may change down the road. In fact, it’s almost certain. When and if you have children, your amount of alone time will significantly decrease. How will you compensate? Will you plan a date night and hire a babysitter? While your future children may be your number one priority down the road, it’s important to take some time to work on your marriage and keep the intimacy alive.
   
   As you start aging, this will also come up. Be open about your expectations. While your commitments are subject to change, you should be open about your feelings from the get go.

Of course, family counseling techniques vary between counselors. But when seeking marriage advice, these are the important points to hit.